I'm taking this blog in a slightly different direction. I'm going to be discussing discontined Bath and Body Works & Victoria's Secret products. Why?
I MISS THE OLD BATH AND BODY WORKS! Like, fer realz. I miss the "'ye ol' country store" feel to the place. The red and white gingham, the wooden barrels, the old bottle design. You get the picture.
Since I can't find a website devoted to such a thing, I decided I'm going to create one!
I've been shopping at Bath and Body Works since 1996, when the store first came to our local mall. I still have some of those scents (Winter Festival, anyone?!)
I also used to sell Bath and Body Works stuff on eBay so I have a huge library of pictures to use in this blog.
I hope this becomes a resource for all Bath & Body Works fans, such as myself.
Thanks for reading!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Friday, February 22, 2008
Snarking on American Idol
It's that time of year again. AI is back to the voting rounds. So let's snark!
The 12 boys sang on Tuesday night and the girls followed on Wednesday. This weeks theme was the 1960's (snore!), just as they do every season, so you had to expect a lot of "This sounds old" comments from the judges. Dudes - stop bitchin' about "current" sound if they give them a 60's theme!
The shows this week were all a bit underwhelming. Seacrest looked kind of bloated in the face, Paula's sauced again and forming half sentences, and Simon kept bitching about everything sounding "too 60's" during a 60's theme. God forbid!
David Hernandez: I guess he can sing, but I was filing my nails. Boring
Chickezie: So he's is now a one-word guy? Hmmm...Red Suit? Out of key? Walked on stage looking like Clifford the big red dog? Is this George Huff on Valium? I'M IN LOVE.
David C: I hope he stays in long enough for the stylists to take care of that awful hair. Blech! The combover needs to go. It makes him look like a dumpy loser.
Robbie, the boy band poser: He was okay. Definitely not fantastic, but it kept me out of a comatose state.
David Archuleta: Did his best "Who, me?!" Melinda Doolittle impression. I can just hear the legions of tweentards and oldies picking up the phone for this kid. He really annoyed me with the braying laugh. Get him off the stage (errr....excuse me, platform) before I wanna kill him. And he you know he's only 17???!!!
Danny Noriega: Totally obnoxious, and what the hell is wrong with his hands?! I don't think I'll be able to concentrate on his singing because his foot-long fingers are so disturbing. He sang Elvis' Jailhouse Rock. Have you ever paid attention to the lyrics of this song? In particular, this:
"#27 said to #3, you're the cutest jailbird I ever did see."
Did they have co-ed prisons back then??
Luke Menard: I just heard this guy's name and I've already forgotten who he is. This guy couldn't have less personality if he were dead and frozen. If he manages to stay until next week it's because so damn tappable.
Colton: Seacrest was totally lying. He thought Colton WAS Ellen. That's why Ryan was hitting on him. I'm glad Simon gave him the smack he deserved.
Garrett: I SPY PEACHFUZZ on this Owen Wilson lookalike! Looking at and listening to him, I feel like I've fallen into some weird time rift and landed in the '70s
Jason Castro: He's the dude with the dreads. Fun fact that you might not know about this guy... Did you know that he would have won a gold medal in the Olympics if his bobsled didn't flip on the last turn?
Michael: Reason #2183 that Michael Jones is douche: Wearing a scarf inside...in Los Angeles
On to the girls!
Kristy Lee Cook: Rescue Me" from this performance. Playing the sickness card, and Paula rambles like a tumbleweed.
Joanne: She should've been belting that song, not sleeping through it.
Alania Whitaker: OMG OMG OMG It was like really hot and like a really long day!!!111!! OMG I WANT NEW SHOES!!I think I'll get her the other sleeve for her birthday. What an ugly shirt.
Amanda Overmeyer: WTF? I have not understood a single word. She sounded like she was chawing a pork chop. However, the fact that she stated flat-out on the air that she didn't like doing the stupid little dance for the camera earns her major points in my book.
Amy Davis: Woo hoo! It's weird hair night. She's got a little dollop up front. My dog started growling at the TV.
Brooke White: I hated how she kept doing the Herbal-Essences-hands-in-the-hair-i'm-having-an-orgasm-in-the-shower thing Brooke didn't completely hurt my ears but she's not long for this competition. Get her to record some Christian music and she'd be money. She pisses rainbows and craps tiny pink unicorns, too.
Alexandra: Strange dance moves. The weird hair, the suspenders, the mismatched earrings...reminded me of "Blossom". Or her afflicted friend 'Six'. It was the hair and the mismatched earrings. And the suspenders.
Kady Malloy: It's Britney, Bitch! Yeah, she looks very excited. It was like one giant Valium.
Asia'h: Her earrings are putting on a helluva performance. She had a nice, honking goose quality to her voice.
Ramielle: This girl has an evil streak inside her that is just one bad judge's comment short of exploding out of her. Seacrest was totally jealous of those shoes. He's probably going to ask if he can borrow them.
Syeisha: Not much to say except that she had gongs for earrings and do-me boots.
Carly: The plant was pimped by Randy so much that I had to walk out of the room.
Paula's video: Can this be the new exit song? ;) Dance Like There's No Tomorrow" is a very misleading song title. It should be "Shuffle About Aimlessly While Younger People Are Dancing Like There's No Tomorrow."
Paula got the Ashlee Simpson treatment on that video. Make no mistake, an entire bank of G5 Power Macs running pitch correction software was used on that track!
The four to go were Garrett, Colton, Amy, and Joanne. With all the tears, I thought they were torturing kittens and puppies on stage!
That's it for now...until next week... :)
The 12 boys sang on Tuesday night and the girls followed on Wednesday. This weeks theme was the 1960's (snore!), just as they do every season, so you had to expect a lot of "This sounds old" comments from the judges. Dudes - stop bitchin' about "current" sound if they give them a 60's theme!
The shows this week were all a bit underwhelming. Seacrest looked kind of bloated in the face, Paula's sauced again and forming half sentences, and Simon kept bitching about everything sounding "too 60's" during a 60's theme. God forbid!
David Hernandez: I guess he can sing, but I was filing my nails. Boring
Chickezie: So he's is now a one-word guy? Hmmm...Red Suit? Out of key? Walked on stage looking like Clifford the big red dog? Is this George Huff on Valium? I'M IN LOVE.
David C: I hope he stays in long enough for the stylists to take care of that awful hair. Blech! The combover needs to go. It makes him look like a dumpy loser.
Robbie, the boy band poser: He was okay. Definitely not fantastic, but it kept me out of a comatose state.
David Archuleta: Did his best "Who, me?!" Melinda Doolittle impression. I can just hear the legions of tweentards and oldies picking up the phone for this kid. He really annoyed me with the braying laugh. Get him off the stage (errr....excuse me, platform) before I wanna kill him. And he you know he's only 17???!!!
Danny Noriega: Totally obnoxious, and what the hell is wrong with his hands?! I don't think I'll be able to concentrate on his singing because his foot-long fingers are so disturbing. He sang Elvis' Jailhouse Rock. Have you ever paid attention to the lyrics of this song? In particular, this:
"#27 said to #3, you're the cutest jailbird I ever did see."
Did they have co-ed prisons back then??
Luke Menard: I just heard this guy's name and I've already forgotten who he is. This guy couldn't have less personality if he were dead and frozen. If he manages to stay until next week it's because so damn tappable.
Colton: Seacrest was totally lying. He thought Colton WAS Ellen. That's why Ryan was hitting on him. I'm glad Simon gave him the smack he deserved.
Garrett: I SPY PEACHFUZZ on this Owen Wilson lookalike! Looking at and listening to him, I feel like I've fallen into some weird time rift and landed in the '70s
Jason Castro: He's the dude with the dreads. Fun fact that you might not know about this guy... Did you know that he would have won a gold medal in the Olympics if his bobsled didn't flip on the last turn?
Michael: Reason #2183 that Michael Jones is douche: Wearing a scarf inside...in Los Angeles
On to the girls!
Kristy Lee Cook: Rescue Me" from this performance. Playing the sickness card, and Paula rambles like a tumbleweed.
Joanne: She should've been belting that song, not sleeping through it.
Alania Whitaker: OMG OMG OMG It was like really hot and like a really long day!!!111!! OMG I WANT NEW SHOES!!I think I'll get her the other sleeve for her birthday. What an ugly shirt.
Amanda Overmeyer: WTF? I have not understood a single word. She sounded like she was chawing a pork chop. However, the fact that she stated flat-out on the air that she didn't like doing the stupid little dance for the camera earns her major points in my book.
Amy Davis: Woo hoo! It's weird hair night. She's got a little dollop up front. My dog started growling at the TV.
Brooke White: I hated how she kept doing the Herbal-Essences-hands-in-the-hair-i'm-having-an-orgasm-in-the-shower thing Brooke didn't completely hurt my ears but she's not long for this competition. Get her to record some Christian music and she'd be money. She pisses rainbows and craps tiny pink unicorns, too.
Alexandra: Strange dance moves. The weird hair, the suspenders, the mismatched earrings...reminded me of "Blossom". Or her afflicted friend 'Six'. It was the hair and the mismatched earrings. And the suspenders.
Kady Malloy: It's Britney, Bitch! Yeah, she looks very excited. It was like one giant Valium.
Asia'h: Her earrings are putting on a helluva performance. She had a nice, honking goose quality to her voice.
Ramielle: This girl has an evil streak inside her that is just one bad judge's comment short of exploding out of her. Seacrest was totally jealous of those shoes. He's probably going to ask if he can borrow them.
Syeisha: Not much to say except that she had gongs for earrings and do-me boots.
Carly: The plant was pimped by Randy so much that I had to walk out of the room.
Paula's video: Can this be the new exit song? ;) Dance Like There's No Tomorrow" is a very misleading song title. It should be "Shuffle About Aimlessly While Younger People Are Dancing Like There's No Tomorrow."
Paula got the Ashlee Simpson treatment on that video. Make no mistake, an entire bank of G5 Power Macs running pitch correction software was used on that track!
The four to go were Garrett, Colton, Amy, and Joanne. With all the tears, I thought they were torturing kittens and puppies on stage!
That's it for now...until next week... :)
Friday, January 25, 2008
Let's talk about Victoria's Secret...
Do you like shopping amidst predatory sales girls?
Do you like being chased around the store with a black shopping tote?
Does being harassed about signing up for an Angels card at every corner bring a smile to your face?
Do you like looking at signage with in-your-face cleavage?
Then you will love shopping at Victoria's Secret!
PINK: I really don't understand this line. It looks like it comes from some weird university that makes undies, instead of giving out degrees. This line provokes many questions...
So it's called PINK, right? So why is most of this stuff in every color BUT pink?
Why a dog for the mascot? Since when are dogs pink? A flamingo or perhaps a pig would make much more sense. At least they're pink. Hell, why even use a mascot? I don't know about you, but I don't associate dogs (or farm animals and birds) with sexy lingerie.
Why is '86' splashed all over it? Don't tell me 1986 is when the line was created because it wasn't, or Madonna and Tiffany would've been all over that shit. It was actually launched in 2004. So either they use this to appeal to the teens and early 20-somethings since they were born around that time, or they just pulled random numbers out of the ass just for fun -- '86! Look how VINTAGE it is!!!
Their bras: I like them, when I can find one that's 1.) In my size (I am a 32A and they don't seem to think that people in this size exist). 2.) Doesnt have padding. Why are all the bras there padded 7 inches thick? I don't want to something that sends my boobs up to my chin. I do not want look like a Chesty McBoob!
The sales associates: Pushy, pushy, pushy! They bushwhack you the minute you walk into the store and try to shove a bag in your hand. If you refuse, they will continue to stalk you around the store until you accept the bag. Recently, I was at Vickie's and had only a LIP GLOSS in my hand. Three sales associates kept following me around the store, trying to thrust that fucking bag in my hand. I don't need a bag for ONE lousy lip gloss! I have perfectly healthy hands and they can withstand the weight of holding a 1oz lip gloss just fine! To top it off, another gutsy SA handed me an Angels card application!! 19% interest on a lip gloss? SURE SIGN ME UP! A CREDIT CARD PROTECTION PLAN? Only $25/month? BETTER ENROLL ME - YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO CAREFUL! Sheesh - I'm not carrying a mountain of skivves into the dressing room, I'm holding a lip gloss!
The undies: I actually LIKE their undies, but what the hell is that hole in the back of many of their panties for? A tail? I don't like the PINK underwear either; most of it has a really thick hem that could give you a panty line visible from outer space.
The Make up: I've never tried it but I heard it really sexy. How do I know it's really sexy?
Because it says so on the box!!!!
The coupons: Since I don't have that blasted Angels card, I don't get a lot of coupons in the mail. But that fine with me - no coupons or lowering my FICO rating? I'll pass on the coupons, thanks. So the coupons that I do get are few and far between. Usually it's the standard "$5 off your purchase of $150 or more" - wow, could they spare it? It doesn't even take care of the sales tax!
But sometimes, VS will be generous and offer a free panty - no purchase necessary. Wow, great deal, huh? Well, yeah, if you like granny panties. The FREE PANTY is the most unsexy pair in the store and much resembles a pair of BVD's. Not worth my gas to the store.
The catalog: Ever get one of these in the mail? Every model in the book has the same pouty swollen lip, come-hither expression. The sweater section is great - all the models wear the sweater in an unrealistic manner. Deep V-Neck sweater with a neckline down to your belly button? Screw the cami, these models let it all hang out. Simple cardigan? Why, only ONE button needs to be fastened. Boring crewneck? Well, let's hike up the sweater and show off the chisled abs! Yes, this is Victoria's Secret, not Newport News, but they could at least be realistic. If I wore the sweaters the way they show them in the catalog, to the office, I'd be getting a call from HR.
The flannel pajamas section is even better. Oversized, cover-it-all-up jammies with a wild print of donuts, kitties, and/or Santa? VS will make the model look like a vixen by only fastening one button. Does that make her look like a sexy little minx? Not really. She's still wearing oversized pajamas with a kiddie print. No matter how you pose, you can't make long johns look sexy.
Vickie's, vickie's, vickies, oh how you amuse me!
Do you like being chased around the store with a black shopping tote?
Does being harassed about signing up for an Angels card at every corner bring a smile to your face?
Do you like looking at signage with in-your-face cleavage?
Then you will love shopping at Victoria's Secret!
PINK: I really don't understand this line. It looks like it comes from some weird university that makes undies, instead of giving out degrees. This line provokes many questions...
So it's called PINK, right? So why is most of this stuff in every color BUT pink?
Why a dog for the mascot? Since when are dogs pink? A flamingo or perhaps a pig would make much more sense. At least they're pink. Hell, why even use a mascot? I don't know about you, but I don't associate dogs (or farm animals and birds) with sexy lingerie.
Why is '86' splashed all over it? Don't tell me 1986 is when the line was created because it wasn't, or Madonna and Tiffany would've been all over that shit. It was actually launched in 2004. So either they use this to appeal to the teens and early 20-somethings since they were born around that time, or they just pulled random numbers out of the ass just for fun -- '86! Look how VINTAGE it is!!!
Their bras: I like them, when I can find one that's 1.) In my size (I am a 32A and they don't seem to think that people in this size exist). 2.) Doesnt have padding. Why are all the bras there padded 7 inches thick? I don't want to something that sends my boobs up to my chin. I do not want look like a Chesty McBoob!
The sales associates: Pushy, pushy, pushy! They bushwhack you the minute you walk into the store and try to shove a bag in your hand. If you refuse, they will continue to stalk you around the store until you accept the bag. Recently, I was at Vickie's and had only a LIP GLOSS in my hand. Three sales associates kept following me around the store, trying to thrust that fucking bag in my hand. I don't need a bag for ONE lousy lip gloss! I have perfectly healthy hands and they can withstand the weight of holding a 1oz lip gloss just fine! To top it off, another gutsy SA handed me an Angels card application!! 19% interest on a lip gloss? SURE SIGN ME UP! A CREDIT CARD PROTECTION PLAN? Only $25/month? BETTER ENROLL ME - YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO CAREFUL! Sheesh - I'm not carrying a mountain of skivves into the dressing room, I'm holding a lip gloss!
The undies: I actually LIKE their undies, but what the hell is that hole in the back of many of their panties for? A tail? I don't like the PINK underwear either; most of it has a really thick hem that could give you a panty line visible from outer space.
The Make up: I've never tried it but I heard it really sexy. How do I know it's really sexy?
Because it says so on the box!!!!
The coupons: Since I don't have that blasted Angels card, I don't get a lot of coupons in the mail. But that fine with me - no coupons or lowering my FICO rating? I'll pass on the coupons, thanks. So the coupons that I do get are few and far between. Usually it's the standard "$5 off your purchase of $150 or more" - wow, could they spare it? It doesn't even take care of the sales tax!
But sometimes, VS will be generous and offer a free panty - no purchase necessary. Wow, great deal, huh? Well, yeah, if you like granny panties. The FREE PANTY is the most unsexy pair in the store and much resembles a pair of BVD's. Not worth my gas to the store.
The catalog: Ever get one of these in the mail? Every model in the book has the same pouty swollen lip, come-hither expression. The sweater section is great - all the models wear the sweater in an unrealistic manner. Deep V-Neck sweater with a neckline down to your belly button? Screw the cami, these models let it all hang out. Simple cardigan? Why, only ONE button needs to be fastened. Boring crewneck? Well, let's hike up the sweater and show off the chisled abs! Yes, this is Victoria's Secret, not Newport News, but they could at least be realistic. If I wore the sweaters the way they show them in the catalog, to the office, I'd be getting a call from HR.
The flannel pajamas section is even better. Oversized, cover-it-all-up jammies with a wild print of donuts, kitties, and/or Santa? VS will make the model look like a vixen by only fastening one button. Does that make her look like a sexy little minx? Not really. She's still wearing oversized pajamas with a kiddie print. No matter how you pose, you can't make long johns look sexy.
Vickie's, vickie's, vickies, oh how you amuse me!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Let's review the Winter 2007/2008 BBW Semi-Annual Sale
Leaky lotions? Check.
Erratic pricing? Check.
Crowded store? Check.
Tacky tote bags piled high? Check.
Chipped and cracked ceramic candles? Check
Yes, ladies, take your mallet to the piggy bank! It's that time again, the Bath & Body Works Semi-Annual Sale!
Let's review!
The BEST of the sale:
The $10 off $30 purchase coupons:
These things are a godsend. Take the phone survey, write down the code, and you're on the your way to savings! You'd be surprised on how much stuff you can get for only $20!
The NEW Enchanted Orchid scent: LOVE it. Usually BBW's florals are too vomit-inducing for my tastes, but this one is actually light and pleasant.
The $3 Body Creams: For the first few days of the sale, all Signature Collection body creams were only $3. This was an amazing deal - they usually will put the body washes for $3, not the creams.
Observations:
Boring, put-me-to-sleep classics:
Plumeria, Juniper Breeze, Coco Cabana, all which smell so bad, they could drop an oak tree in 3 nanoseconds flat. Why must they bring these same scents back? WHY WHY WHY. They're not "rare" if you bring them back every six months. Those who like these scents have probably already gotten their fill at the last 6 sales! Bring back something DIFFERENT - you've got a whole library of scents from which to chose; why all the same shit? Whip up a batch of Iced Pineapple, Frosted Snowdrop, Happy Daisy, April Mist - I'm tellin' ya, that stuff will fly off the shelves, not just sit there collecting dust like Rice Flower & Shea (why is this a classic? and Sheer Freesia.
Vanilla Bean Noel: Why are people so nuts about this scent? Why do so many people want to smell like a sugar cookie? Why does BBW insist on bringing this back every Christmas? It seems like every other customer in that store is on the search for VBN.
Nothing new or rare:
Every semi-annual sale in the past has brought back SOMETHING rare. Last summer, it was Orange Blossom anti-bacs (haven't seen these since 2001!) and old Aromatherapy stuff (Ylang Ylang Myrrh and Blue Lavender Palmarosa). Last winter, it was Water Blossom Ivy. This sale, nothing. Nothing rare but a lone bottle of Rich Citrus Cream bubble bath with old skool packaging from 2002.
Which, although sitting on the 75% off table, rang up full price. The SA adjusted the price, and I brought it home with me. I'm looking forward to bathing in the relaxing scent of sour milk!
Blue Bins:
Flimsy red buckets have been put out to pasture. Which is great, but instead, we're blessed with these blasted square blue vinyl bins. Digging through the new blues is just as difficult, and the goopy, leaky bottles are just as bad, but at least you don't have that looming feeling that it's not going to split in half as you rummage through it. For the most part, the SA's kept the bins organized, but it really depends on the store. At some stores, you find everything in its place, and at other stores, there's a polyglot of crap on the tables, things haphazardly thrown around, and testers bottles lurking in the briny deep of a blue bin.
The WORST:
Lack of, well, anything: The stores I've been to have been bare. It's a weird sight. Usually at the sale, everything is spaced so close together, I feel like a bull in a china shop.
Horribly boring 75% off tables:
Gah! More Fresh Vanilla and Pear Blossom shit! BBW's GOLD STANDARD of the 75% off tables. Just the sight of this stuff has begun to bring a tightening sensation in my chest. Not AGAIN!! Not another damn bin filled with Pear Blossom shower gel!
Seriously, how many more Fresh Vanilla splashes and Pear Blossom Shower Gels can BBW HAVE? I'm beginning to think that BBW is making this stuff specifically FOR the SAS just to fuck with me. For the last THREE (!!) sales, this stuff has been rotting and leaking onto itself in the 75% off bins. No one is buying this shit! Seriously - mark it 90% off and put these scents out of their misery so that I don't have to look at them at the next sale!
Le Couvent Des Minimes stuff:
Another staple of the 75% off tables. It's either 1 of 2 scents - Honey and Shea (a delicate mix of playdough and cream of tarter) or Lemon Verbena (Windex). No one is buying this shit, even at 90% off! Who in their right mind would want to smell like they've been busy playing with clay or cleaning toilets?
Breathe 24/7 Self Tanners: It's no wonder why these don't sell - they're quite possibly the worst-smelling self tanners EVER - and that's saying a lot, since self-tanners usually have nasty smell anyway. And they leak like a runny nose! I hate sticking my hand into the bin, trying to dig around for something good, and end up with stained, spotty fingers!
Weird Shit:
CO Bigelow Mouthwash: Retail price: $12. This better be some strong dentist-quality miracle shit. Maybe it's because I am from the upper midwest, but I don't think I've ever seen mouthwash priced that high.
Well Beyond Its Expiration Date Holiday Candy: Someone call the health department! It looks so nasty, it's overpriced (even at 75% off), and usually it's placed in the same bin as the shower gel. I don't know about you, but I love me some soapy caramel corn! There's nothing like the feeling of eating popcorn while blowing bubbles out of your mouth!
Nail files: Not really weird, but ick. Just the sight of one is enough to make my skin crawl. Why
not just stop by the hardware store and use a belt-sander, and keep going until you hit a bone?
Random CDs from some artist you've never heard of: Why does BBW bother carrying CDs? Who buys these? This is 2008; no one buys CDs anymore anyway, and no one buys CDs from Bath & Body Works.
Superfill cosmetics: Weird packaging that looks straight off the back of a comic book. Gives it that snake oil-ish feeling to it, much like those other "amazing" things that are really sold on back of comic books - sea monkeys, dollar bill making machines, and 3-D spy glasses. This line belongs in a dollar store, not in a BBW.
That about wraps things up. All in all, a very bad sale. Nothing exciting, nothing new. Same sale, different year.
Erratic pricing? Check.
Crowded store? Check.
Tacky tote bags piled high? Check.
Chipped and cracked ceramic candles? Check
Yes, ladies, take your mallet to the piggy bank! It's that time again, the Bath & Body Works Semi-Annual Sale!
Let's review!
The BEST of the sale:
The $10 off $30 purchase coupons:
These things are a godsend. Take the phone survey, write down the code, and you're on the your way to savings! You'd be surprised on how much stuff you can get for only $20!
The NEW Enchanted Orchid scent: LOVE it. Usually BBW's florals are too vomit-inducing for my tastes, but this one is actually light and pleasant.
The $3 Body Creams: For the first few days of the sale, all Signature Collection body creams were only $3. This was an amazing deal - they usually will put the body washes for $3, not the creams.
Observations:
Boring, put-me-to-sleep classics:
Plumeria, Juniper Breeze, Coco Cabana, all which smell so bad, they could drop an oak tree in 3 nanoseconds flat. Why must they bring these same scents back? WHY WHY WHY. They're not "rare" if you bring them back every six months. Those who like these scents have probably already gotten their fill at the last 6 sales! Bring back something DIFFERENT - you've got a whole library of scents from which to chose; why all the same shit? Whip up a batch of Iced Pineapple, Frosted Snowdrop, Happy Daisy, April Mist - I'm tellin' ya, that stuff will fly off the shelves, not just sit there collecting dust like Rice Flower & Shea (why is this a classic? and Sheer Freesia.
Vanilla Bean Noel: Why are people so nuts about this scent? Why do so many people want to smell like a sugar cookie? Why does BBW insist on bringing this back every Christmas? It seems like every other customer in that store is on the search for VBN.
Nothing new or rare:
Every semi-annual sale in the past has brought back SOMETHING rare. Last summer, it was Orange Blossom anti-bacs (haven't seen these since 2001!) and old Aromatherapy stuff (Ylang Ylang Myrrh and Blue Lavender Palmarosa). Last winter, it was Water Blossom Ivy. This sale, nothing. Nothing rare but a lone bottle of Rich Citrus Cream bubble bath with old skool packaging from 2002.
Which, although sitting on the 75% off table, rang up full price. The SA adjusted the price, and I brought it home with me. I'm looking forward to bathing in the relaxing scent of sour milk!
Blue Bins:
Flimsy red buckets have been put out to pasture. Which is great, but instead, we're blessed with these blasted square blue vinyl bins. Digging through the new blues is just as difficult, and the goopy, leaky bottles are just as bad, but at least you don't have that looming feeling that it's not going to split in half as you rummage through it. For the most part, the SA's kept the bins organized, but it really depends on the store. At some stores, you find everything in its place, and at other stores, there's a polyglot of crap on the tables, things haphazardly thrown around, and testers bottles lurking in the briny deep of a blue bin.
The WORST:
Lack of, well, anything: The stores I've been to have been bare. It's a weird sight. Usually at the sale, everything is spaced so close together, I feel like a bull in a china shop.
Horribly boring 75% off tables:
Gah! More Fresh Vanilla and Pear Blossom shit! BBW's GOLD STANDARD of the 75% off tables. Just the sight of this stuff has begun to bring a tightening sensation in my chest. Not AGAIN!! Not another damn bin filled with Pear Blossom shower gel!
Seriously, how many more Fresh Vanilla splashes and Pear Blossom Shower Gels can BBW HAVE? I'm beginning to think that BBW is making this stuff specifically FOR the SAS just to fuck with me. For the last THREE (!!) sales, this stuff has been rotting and leaking onto itself in the 75% off bins. No one is buying this shit! Seriously - mark it 90% off and put these scents out of their misery so that I don't have to look at them at the next sale!
Le Couvent Des Minimes stuff:
Another staple of the 75% off tables. It's either 1 of 2 scents - Honey and Shea (a delicate mix of playdough and cream of tarter) or Lemon Verbena (Windex). No one is buying this shit, even at 90% off! Who in their right mind would want to smell like they've been busy playing with clay or cleaning toilets?
Breathe 24/7 Self Tanners: It's no wonder why these don't sell - they're quite possibly the worst-smelling self tanners EVER - and that's saying a lot, since self-tanners usually have nasty smell anyway. And they leak like a runny nose! I hate sticking my hand into the bin, trying to dig around for something good, and end up with stained, spotty fingers!
Weird Shit:
CO Bigelow Mouthwash: Retail price: $12. This better be some strong dentist-quality miracle shit. Maybe it's because I am from the upper midwest, but I don't think I've ever seen mouthwash priced that high.
Well Beyond Its Expiration Date Holiday Candy: Someone call the health department! It looks so nasty, it's overpriced (even at 75% off), and usually it's placed in the same bin as the shower gel. I don't know about you, but I love me some soapy caramel corn! There's nothing like the feeling of eating popcorn while blowing bubbles out of your mouth!
Nail files: Not really weird, but ick. Just the sight of one is enough to make my skin crawl. Why
not just stop by the hardware store and use a belt-sander, and keep going until you hit a bone?
Random CDs from some artist you've never heard of: Why does BBW bother carrying CDs? Who buys these? This is 2008; no one buys CDs anymore anyway, and no one buys CDs from Bath & Body Works.
Superfill cosmetics: Weird packaging that looks straight off the back of a comic book. Gives it that snake oil-ish feeling to it, much like those other "amazing" things that are really sold on back of comic books - sea monkeys, dollar bill making machines, and 3-D spy glasses. This line belongs in a dollar store, not in a BBW.
That about wraps things up. All in all, a very bad sale. Nothing exciting, nothing new. Same sale, different year.
Friday, July 20, 2007
My review of the June Semi Annual Sale!
Let's review the June Semi Annual Sale. Now I'll admit it that I shop the SAS a lot. Most of the stuff I buy is NOT for myself though, unfortunately. We have about 10 BBW stores in my area and I went to them all. Most more than once. During the first day, my sister and I hit 6 BBWs!!!
Additional 10% off when purchasing 10 or more items:
For someone like me, this is gold. No longer do I need to cross my fingers when presenting my 15% off your entire purchase coupon (the coupon states in small print that it can't be used on sale items, but the SA's don't always read it. Heck, most of them have never even SEEN the coupon). Buying 10 or more items at a time is NOTHING to me, PLUS it allowed me to save my 15% off coupons for the next sale, should they not have this promotion going on again.
Henri Bendel Body Care items:
ACK! It's back! Like a giant cockroach, no matter how many times BBW insists this stuff is discontinued, it keeps popping up at every SAS. The black and white striped prison uniform boxes will not die! At a few of the stores around the cities, their 75% table is made up of solely HB items. These puppies are overpriced to begin with - and at 75% off, it's not much of a deal.
When the sale was nearing its end, all of the HB items were marked down to a flat rate of $3.
Now that's what I'm talkin' about. Oh and Orange Flower is about the nastiest smell known to the Holla Bath Girl. Smells great in the bottle, but like cigars on my skin.
The red buckets:
I hate digging through the buckets to find the goodies and then pulling my hand out, covered in mystery goop. But I suppose with the limited floor space that they have and the large amount of items they put out for the sale, they really can't do it any other way.
But back to the buckets. Really, those things are the flimsiest containers known to man. Take a closer look at these things and you'll discover they're just red sheets of plastic folded into a cylinder shape and held in place with a plastic tab. Hell, the local Dollar Tree has better shelving in their stores! Can't they arrange the stuff on a shelf or a table? Yes, it takes up more room, but they'd end up with a lot fewer damaged-out items at the end of the sale.
The 75% off table:
LOVE it & my main reason for going, but it's REALLY irritating when the ONLY thing on the 75% off table are a bunch of leaking Fresh Vanilla body splashes and Henri Bendel candle coasters. I've never seen anyone actually buy one of these coasters. I actually thought it was a drink coaster. I know I'm not the only one who was wondering what those things were because I've observed people pick it up, squint their eyes, examine it, and wonder, "What the hell is this...and why the hell is Bath & Body Works selling drink coasters?"
This is my #1 gripe about the sale. There are so many pricing
No Tutti Dolci:
I really shouldn't be complaining, as I am thoroughly stocked up on Tutti Dolci products for years to come. (Hell, I just wanted some to peddle on eBay). But it still was weird this time around without any Tutti Dolci stuff. I only found one Tutti Dolci item during the whole sale, and that was a Chocolate Fondue EDT for 75% off that I found at the bottom of a plastic bucket. Of course, being that I found it the dark trenches of a plastic bucket, it had the remains of what was once a Spiced Apple Rapture lotion spilled all over the box. At least the box was still covered in cellophane. So I bought it, cleaned it off, and sold it on eBay. Woot.
The return of Ylang Ylang Myrrh & Blue Lavender Palmarosa:
I never had a chance to smell either of these before they weres discontinued so I was thrilled when I saw them during the June sale! Granted, I didn't find the BLP in lotion form (only YYM), only shower gel, but I was happy to have the chance to sniff them.
Ile De Tahiti:
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that it went on sale. I'm just disappointed that the entire line is now discontinued. I really liked this stuff, especially Tiare Flower & Fei Banana. Coconut Vanille, not so much. One thing that bugged me, was that at most of the stores, they'd have a Ile De Tahiti 50% off display that only had the shower gels and those greasy, slippery Poe Shimmer sprays, yet they'd still leave the lotion testers out on the table, long after the lotions were all sold out. For crying out loud, if I can't buy the stuff, put away the tester! Quit teasing me!
Fuckers.
The lack of GOOD 90% off stuff:
Maybe I was just hitting the sale at the wrong time, but I only saw "good" stuff on the 90% off table once - Le Couvent Des Minimes Honey & Shea stuff and Pure
Simplicity Brazil Nut Body Butter. If a store had a 90% off table, it was stocked with the denim bags from last January’s sale, Aspen Winter quilted bags, some kind of goofy bear/dog/mountain lion stuffed animal with skis attached to its feet, and some weird plastic fruit decoration that looks like it's pulled off the pages of a 1992 Home Interiors catalog. Which brings me to...
Weird Stuff:
I'm amazed at the "weird stuff" that's pulled out during this sale. Like the fake fruit decoration I mentioned above, BBW can really throw you for a loop. I'd like to know when, exactly, this stuff is sold at full price in the stores, and better yet, who BUYS it? Stuff I saw at this sale:
Flower Pots: Great price, only $1, but since when did BBW get its lotion-moisturized hands into the landscaping business? Is BBW giving Home Depot a run for its money? Coming soon to your local BBW: Garden hoses, lawn gnomes, scented toilet seats (available in all your favorite signature scents!), and lumber.
A plastic ball with spikes on it: I seriously don't know what it is. It looks like a dog toy, without a squeaker. Priced at only $.10, I bought it. It was either let the dime rot in the trenches of my purse, or buy it and try to figure out what the heck to do with it. Always up for a challenge, I bought it.
Coffee Cups: Again, not sure why our favorite beauty store is selling dinnerware. It's akin to renting movies at a McDonalds...errr...never mind. But for only $1, I bought two.
The "Classics" Scents:
Not too happy with what they brought back this time. It's the same old, same old again. At least last January they brought back Water Blossom Ivy. Just more of the same, predictable stuff that's brought out ever year - Strawberry Lemonade, Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin, CocoCabana, Rice Flower & Shea...yawn. And why are some of these donned "Classics" - Rich Citrus Cream - a classic? REALLY? When I think of BBW Classics, I think Country Apple, Freesia, Juniper Breeze, Seaspray, you know, the scents BBW is "known" for. Not Rich Citrus Cream
Best finds at the June sale:
Green Clover & Aloe Purely Silk Lotion
All the Temptations kits for 75% off
Ginormous BIG Rubber Duckie - 75% off
Orange Blossom Anti-Bac Hand Lotion: A true rare find!
Le Couvent Des Minimes Night Cream - Reg. $32, rang up at $1.12 thoughout most of the sale...until BBW caught on. Grrr.
Original Honeysuckle lotion (bought a boatload of this to resell on eBay and made a killing on it!)
A blue BBW mesh shopping bag - Free: Yes, I actually have one of these at home. I was buying a truckload of heavy candles and the SA let me take it home with me! Straight in the laundry it went (like most BBW shopping bags, it had lotion residue on the bottom) and now I have a flashy blue bag with "
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
BBW's Sparkling Peach: Since when do peaches sparkle?
So I’ve seen a fuzzy peach, I’ve seen a bruised peach, but never a sparkling peach.
Where, oh, where is BBW finding all of this enchanted fruit?
Wherever it is, I’m so there! I want to live in a land with time-sensitive magical pomegranates and peaches that sparkle!
So I'm not really sure what exactly is meant by the scent name, "Sparkling Peach." Because, in the real world, peaches do not sparkle. You can look high and low, but I'm telling you, there is no bling-bling to be found on a peach! Is this supposed to smell like the finished product of some crafty individual who got bored one day and whipped out a Bedazzler and started glue-gunning rhinestones to a basket of peaches? Perhaps, because this doesn't really smell like a true peach scent.
Some will say that this smells like a peach with a little "kick" to it. "Bling", if you will. Me, I say that it smells like puke. It reminds me of riding on the school bus, when some kid had a bout with motion sickness and spewed all over the seat. The driver would then pull over, and whip out a bucket of sawdust to camoflauge the carnage.
Yep. That's what this smells like. Sawdust-covered vomit. In fact, to my sensitive nose, all peach scents have a puke note to them, with the exception of Perfect Peach, from the Temptations line. But none quite as bad as this one.
Where, oh, where is BBW finding all of this enchanted fruit?
Wherever it is, I’m so there! I want to live in a land with time-sensitive magical pomegranates and peaches that sparkle!
So I'm not really sure what exactly is meant by the scent name, "Sparkling Peach." Because, in the real world, peaches do not sparkle. You can look high and low, but I'm telling you, there is no bling-bling to be found on a peach! Is this supposed to smell like the finished product of some crafty individual who got bored one day and whipped out a Bedazzler and started glue-gunning rhinestones to a basket of peaches? Perhaps, because this doesn't really smell like a true peach scent.
Some will say that this smells like a peach with a little "kick" to it. "Bling", if you will. Me, I say that it smells like puke. It reminds me of riding on the school bus, when some kid had a bout with motion sickness and spewed all over the seat. The driver would then pull over, and whip out a bucket of sawdust to camoflauge the carnage.
Yep. That's what this smells like. Sawdust-covered vomit. In fact, to my sensitive nose, all peach scents have a puke note to them, with the exception of Perfect Peach, from the Temptations line. But none quite as bad as this one.
Welcome!
Welcome to "Holla Bath Girl" - my blog to post reviews on bath, body, and beauty products, along with other random musings. I started this blog because I have written reviews on BBW.com, but find the reviews a little limiting - I can't mention any other brand name products, and not to mention, if I write a less-than-glowing review about a product, the review tends to get voted "Not Helpful". Which pretty much defeats the purpose of writing a review. 'Sup with dat?
So I started a blog instead. I will mostly be reviewing Bath & Body Works and Victoria's Secret products because that's what I like :) You'll also find some etailer reviews here as well.
I hope you find this blog helpful, and maybe even get a laugh or too!
So I started a blog instead. I will mostly be reviewing Bath & Body Works and Victoria's Secret products because that's what I like :) You'll also find some etailer reviews here as well.
I hope you find this blog helpful, and maybe even get a laugh or too!
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